I have a really bad habit. I spend far too much of my day reading blogs. Sometimes I know the people and sometimes I don't. But, hey we all do it sometimes, right? No? It's just me? Sometimes I read posts and feel totally inspired and uplifted and my days is better because of them. BUT most of the time reading blogs just makes me feel totally inadequate as a mom and just as a human being because here's the thing...
- I didn't breastfeed Maya, and I won't breastfeed baby #2. Go ahead and judge. Most people do.
- I don't use cloth diapers.
- I don't make Maya's clothes or my own (or any other thing that involoves a sewing machine, or even just a needle and thread).
- I also don't make cute little headbands.
- My house is NEVER clean. Maybe if company is coming. Maybe.
- I rarely cook. I never bake.
- I'm not a vegetarian and I don't feed my family all organic food.
- I don't want a big family. Baby #2 will probably be the last.
- I'm on an insane amount of anti-depressants to make me happy, and even then...(the reason baby #2 will probably be the last).
- I'm not a photographer.
- I'm not even a good blogger. (I am good at reading them. Does that count)?
I really could keep going, but I think you get the idea. I feel like I'm stuck. In the real world I'm not successful because I didn't graduate from college and I don't have a job. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) whose mom has constantly judge me for this. In the Mormon world I'm not successful, well, for all of the above reasons plus some. I guess I'm hoping it's not just me and other women feel inadequate and useless at times. Well, was that depressing enough for you? Next time I'll come back with cute pictures and some happy thoughts, but like I said, I'm not a very good blogger...
7 comments:
I'm way better at reading blogs, too! And I could add a big amen to several things on your list. Just know that you're not alone. And I appreciate you posting this because it's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling inadequate and useless. I always thought I'd be better at motherhood (not that I think I'm a horrible mom, I just thought things would be different.) This is getting too long already so I better stop now because I'm pretty sure I could keep going.
You are definitly NOT the only one to feel this way. And I have been known to blog stalk as well! First off I cloth diaper and BF because I like it (and I need to save money). I wouldn't judge another mom over it because different things make us happy. I sew because I'm a lonely stay-at-home-mom and it's about the only hobby I have that keeps me sane. Since Brad and I have split I feel like a really bad mom, I've been yelling more and definitly not as easy going AND I haven't been cooking either! Mac N Cheese please! But truth be told, I enjoy cooking and hope to get back to it when Eileen is a little older.
Your post is so refreshing to me, thanks!!! I often feel crappy after reading blogs, ones about happy families, happy couples, etc. I wish people were a little more honest about life.
And oh, my house is NEVER EVER clean and I try not to feel guilty about it. Somedays I feel like I clean and clean and clean and it's still a mess, why bother??
And I only got an assiciate degree and I didn't get a job either. All these mormon moms have masters degrees and everything!
AMEN! I have some friends' blogs I don't read anymore because her life is s o perfect that it makes me feel crappy and jealous. Her photos are perfect, perfectly decorated house, perfect parties etc. In fact this is the first time I've made things for my girls and only because it's so cheap. I suck :(
Yeah, I'm pretty much on the list for a bunch of those things you listed! Just keep in mind that people usually only post their very best of everything.
So I love this cause I totally get it. I feel inadequate just by the other mom's around me! As you can tell I've been busy the last couple months so now I'm finally getting back to being a blog stocker myself. When I was working I was obsesses with checking my email and my Myspace page. Ha! it's been a while! Anyways, I'm so happy for you and we are 2 peas in a pod, well accept for the loads of anti-depressants! LOVE YOU!
Well when I'm a mom I'll be unsuccessful too! I'll move right back to IL and we can be judged together for not making our own baby food and sewing our own clothes!
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